Friday Feels: A World With You

 

Think how many doors we’ll open

Just as many stars will shine

Who knows where we’re going?

Who knows what we’ll find?

I want to see the world

The way I see a world with you

To My Favorite Citizen of Heaven :)

As I stepped into a milk tea shop, I saw you from afar. I was a bit shy to run to you because it has been a while since we last saw each other. But, when you saw me, you flashed that cheeky smile of yours as you called Baaabe!! with your very maarte voice.

I sat beside you, hugging you like crazy because God knows how much I miss you. You have gained weight! You’re looking all happy and serene, still wearing that red lipstick of yours, of course.

Being the talkative person you are, you had a lot to say. But the highlight would always be our conversation on the state of our hearts. “Guess what?” you said. “I have finally found my true love. Now I know what this kind of love really means.”

We have always been the hopeless romantics – the sawi. So hearing this story of how you met ‘The One’ made my heart flutter. In a very excited manner, you said, “You’ll find yours too. When it happens, I’ll be there cheering on you.”

I was all ears for every stories you have shared. But, my time is running out and I needed to go. I hugged you tight for one last time, trying to hold back the tears. I know you never really liked seeing me cry but this is an exception, I cry out of delight from being with you once again.

I thanked you for being God’s testament on how kindness and compassion can move people. You have been His vessel in teaching me how pain can turn into something beautiful. You made me realize the value of living a life that takes risks. You proved that life may be short but if you fill it with a whole lot of faith and love, it is enough.

The pain of losing you still stings but God puts me at peace, assuring me that you are now living the life that we have always dreamed of. 🙂

I still miss you everyday.
Happy 29th Birthday, Ate Arie.

Loving you always and forever,
Kate

Ang Tangi Kong Pagibig

Katulad ng karamihan, naranasan ko na ring umibig, masaktan, at umibig pang muli na tila ang aking puso ay hindi napapagod. Paulit-ulit at parang walang katapusan ang siklo ng saya at sakit sa ngalan ng pagibig. Dumadaan ang masasaya at matatamis na araw hanggang sa kalaunan, ito ay napapawi na ng lungkot at pangungulila.

May mga taong nagtatagal ngunit mayroon ding mga daglian kung lumisan. At sa bawat pagwawakas, may parte na naglalaho kaalinsabay ng pagalis ng minamahal. Ganun pa man, umibig pa din nang umibig hanggang sa wala ng natira kung hindi ang sariling hindi na alam kung paano babangon at magsisimulang muli.

Pinagtagpi-tagpi ang mga natitirang piraso ng pusong sa wakas ay napagal na sa dami ng pinagdaanan. Ngunit kahit anong gawin, hindi na kaya pang ibalik, hindi na kayang magmahal pang muli nang wagas at kasing tindi kagaya ng dati.

Nang malapit nang sumuko sa konsepto ng tunay na pagibig, Ikaw ay nakilala. Ikaw na hindi alintana ang tangan kong dalamhati at sakit. Ikaw na hindi naging mapanghusga sa nakaraang mapait. Ikaw na nanatili kahit na ang tangi lamang na maiaalay ay ang ako na takot pa ding lumapit.

Ang pagibig na iyong ipinamalas ay namumukod-tangi. Sayo lamang naramdaman na kahit napakadaming pagkukulang, ano man ang gawin o sabihin, ito ay sapat na. Sayo lamang natagpuan ang tunay na pagunawa, walang panunumbat na maririnig sa mga pagkakamali na madalas ay nauulit. Sayo lamang nakita ang totoong katapatan, kahit na minsan ay may pagaalinlangan, walang humpay mo pa ring pinapatunayan na ikaw ay maasahan.

Sayo lamang natututan kung paano ba talaga ang umibig – ang taos na pagibig na handang tumanggap at magpatawad kahit na ano pa man ang nakaraan dahil ang mas mahalaga ay ang patutunguhan.

Salamat sa pagbuong muli ng aking puso. Salamat, Ama. Ang tanging pagibig ko ay ikaw lamang at wala nang iba.

Heart Check

This morning, I finished reading the book of Song of Songs. Going through its chapters, it was like witnessing true love unfold right my very eyes. I was captivated by how the bride was committed to the bride groom; how passionate she was with searching for him to express her love. Besides this aspect, I was taken aback by this verse repeated all throughout the book, thrice! The bride tells the daughters of Jerusalem,

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

I do not think this means that God wants us to just wait for something to happen. I believe that this is God saying that we should not rush getting into a relationship until we are sure enough that we can handle the responsibility it entails.

After reading this part of the bible, there is a part of me that wished I have read and studied the Word way back! It would have saved myself from all the heartbreaks! [Or not? Haha.] But, I know that all the nitty-gritty of my past relationships taught me bajillion lessons I took to heart.

I have never been in a God-centered relationship. I think that is the reason why those relationships did not work out. After the aching and the breaking,  one of the most, if not the most, important lesson I have learned is that a relationship should not just be about you and your partner – it should be about anchoring your relationship with God individually and together.

I do not want to sound all holy and that but I have learned things the hard way. At this point, I am not after someone who is perfect but rather, a sinner; A sinner who knows he is flawed enough to pursue Jesus. Being surrounded by people who share the same passion and love for our Father opened up my eyes that one should not really settle for anybody else but God’s Best. Do not deny yourself the opportunity of being loved by someone wholeheartedly and selflessly because he learned how to love from the best [1 John 4:19]!

May our hearts be blessed!
Kate

P.S. How’s this as a first post for 2016? Seems like the year is starting off a little bit lovely. 🙂 To light and love! ❤

 

Blame it on the Latte

Who was smart enough to drink coffee late at night, ending up wide awake at this godly hour? Clue: Me.

Since I cannot sleep and it seems like the synapses in my brain are all alive and kicking, let me share with you one in the 1,001 thoughts tossing and tumbling in my mind – the thought of leaving or being left behind.

When you truly love someone, it is not easy to be the one leaving or be the one left behind. It takes guts to walk away from someone who has been a big part of you. It takes maturity to understand the reasons why someone has to leave you. It hurts either ways. In both situations, you will only be left with one choice, to get moving whether you are ready or not.

One thing I have learned from my fair share of leaving-and-being-left-behind episodes, despite the pain losing someone will cost you, something better will come out of it. Such experiences will give you wisdom and strength, making you a better version of yourself after everything has been said and done.

If you have been courageous enough to walk away from the love of your life or if you have been selfless enough to let the love of your life go, your story has just started. 🙂 Soon, things will fall into place and you will be able to figure out why you have had to go through all the pain.

For now, go, get out there. Do not worry about anything else because everything will work out fine. After all, He makes everything beautiful in His time. 🙂

A Love Like This

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

When it comes to matters of the heart, the verse above maybe one of the most popular. This verse is how Paul perfectly described God’s love as he tries to convince the followers of Christ that he is done persecuting them because he has decided to surrender his life and accept that Christ is indeed his savior. Despite killing people who profess their faith in Jesus thinking they are false believers, Paul was saved by the Lord through his grace. Paul is someone truly admirable. He has shown how love can change a person. He has shown how love transcends boundaries. He has shown how love can endure everything.

God created us in His likeness, giving us the capability to love the way He does. So it is just right to believe that there can be a love that will stay patient even if it takes time; a love that will be secured despite this world being proud and full of envy; a love that will be fruitful because it keeps no record of wrongs; a love that will protect your heart; a love that is built in trust; a love that is never giving up hope; and a love that persists.

I am asking myself, is the kind of love I am writing about superficial? I don’t think so. I know with the person meant for you, such love can exist. And I am sure we are capable of giving it as well because this is how our Father loved us.

For those who are waiting for a love like this, keep your heart still for the best is yet to come!

For those who feels like it is not this kind of love that they are experiencing, pray and talk to Him about it. He’s always there to listen.

For those who already has it, you are in for something that is built to last!

I always remind myself that God’s commandments to us revolves on love in different aspects. Indeed, it is really love that fulfills the law. May we keep in mind what Paul said..

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

“There’s no need for heartbreak warfare. It’s called ‘I love you’ — ‘I love you too’. ‘I need more love’ — ‘You got more love’, and you can get through life like that. Shouldn’t you just, on days where you want more love, be like ‘I had a bad dream that you were sleeping around, it’s really irrational, but just love me extra today’. Why can’t we just have this thing where you just say ‘Just love me extra today’. If I was with somebody and they said ‘Love me extra today’, I would love them extra forever.”
– John Mayer, Atlanta, 2010